During today’s episode, Lydia shares more about the work she and Randy do to educate and empower families to heal from the disease of addiction.
As Lydia says, they will go anywhere. Do interventions, speak, fundraise, and banquets.
Lydia shares more about their book entitled ‘Off Center, ‘ A Memoir of Addiction, Recovery, and Redemption in Professional Football.
Please find the link to their powerful book that intertwines Randy and Lydia’s Story with an intervention he and Lydia conducted in my show notes.
I can’t accurately describe how powerful it was to hear Lydia share her story and know how far she has come to be open and honest with the Grimes family journey. Lydia Breaks down any shame and stigma around the family disease of addiction with every word she shares about this no-fault disease.
See full transcript below.
You’re listening to the Embrace Family Recovery Podcast. A place for real conversations with people who love someone with the disease of addiction! Now here is your host Margaret Swift Thompson.
Intro: Welcome back. Today in Lydia’s final episode she brings her story to current day, and shares more about the vitality and importance of service work in her life, her marriage, and her family. Lydia also introduces us to Randy’s recently published book entitled ‘Off Center’. Let’s join Lydia.
The Embrace Family Recovery Podcast
Margaret 00:00
Randy is given the grace of not having obsessions, preoccupations, cravings, which is a miracle. Most addicts don’t experience that off switch like that. But he obviously is still very much involved in recovery along with that. Didn’t just take that and run, think oh I’m fine now. Right? And you all have done work to help others. That’s part of your partnership.
Lydia: Yes.
Margaret: Your marriage?
Lydia: Yes.
Margaret: And how have you done that?
Lydia 00:35
Well, first we were doing like different family meetings, when they would come into town, Randy worked, has worked for treatment centers, and works for one right now. It’s called White Sands. It’s right outside of Tampa. And it’s in Plant City. I’m working with families working with patients. You’re on the phone a lot, talking to wives and parents, trying to, you know, explain to them what’s going to happen, what can take place, you know, how you can help your loved one, how you can have these boundaries. All the things I didn’t do, I’m sure trying to help that way. So, we, you know, basically, he works for a treatment center as far as the business end of it.
But we do interventions, lots of speaking, education is important. I love going into schools, talking to kids. He’s, you know, we speak at banquets, sometimes both of us sometimes just him. And Fund Raisers, anything will go anywhere. So, he does a lot of podcasts.
Margaret 01:52
Isn’t that what he’s doing right now?
Lydia 01:54
Yeah. Can you hear him? It’s kind of loud.
Margaret 01:57
Yeah. It’s funny. I was thinking that I should probably say something out loud. So, people were wondering, what am I hearing in the background? That is Randy having his own podcast.
Lydia 02:03
Randy talks really loud, sorry.(laughter)
Margaret 02:06
So, it’s kind of cool to know that in your recovery as a couple, you’re both doing service work. You’re both sharing your story. And I’ve heard little bits of Randy’s story through media coverage. I had the privilege of watching your video at Baylor recently where he was honored, and you introduced him, and you did a beautiful job. And one of the things he said when he got up there was the acknowledgement of your part in his journey. Are you able to take that and accept that? That even though you say you did so many things wrong or wish you’d done things different? Can you see your part in his ability to make it to this point?
Lydia 02:50
I do now. Yes, I do. I feel like you know, he knows that I was there every step of the way and kept him alive a lot of times. But of course, when he says it, I always get a lump in my throat anyway, it’s just like, well, thank you, Lord, to be acknowledged.
Margaret 03:10
I did too. And I thought of all the partners out there of people who have the disease of addiction, who are silently struggling, behind the scenes to keep people alive, to try and find the right way to help them. To get to a point where the person they love is in recovery can actually stand there and say, if it weren’t for my partner, I don’t know I could have made it. How beautiful that was to hear.
Lydia: Thank you.
Margaret: For me, and I’m not his partner. (laughter) I’m not his wife.
Lydia: It was.
Margaret: So, we’re going to shamelessly plug your husband’s new book because I know that’s an exciting new step that the two of you have been a part of, because that was what February 8 of this year he published.
Lydia: Yes.
Margaret: So, tell us about that.
Lydia 03:55
Well, you know, you’ve been speaking so much, and someone had said you ought to read a book and we’re like, yeah, all right, you know nobody would read that book, but we finally just put pen to paper and put down everything that he was through everything our family went through. I mean, there’s a lot that’s not in there, but there’s a lot of ugly in there too.
But along with our story, his story, there’s another story of an intervention going on. So, it gives all those characters that we see the enabler, the heard nosed one that, the one that’s mad, the mom the wife. And so, we have the story going on along with Randy story.
Margaret: How interesting.
Lydia: I love the way that it all, at first, I was worried you might be too many characters, but it didn’t come off across that way at all. I think it’s a great read. We’ve had people say, it’s easy to read. They sit down and read it in one sitting. We’ve had great feedback. Getting the word out there is not easy, trying to plug it yourself.
Margaret: Right.
Lydia: But we’re very proud of it. The name of it is ‘Off Center’, he played center. So, it’s off center. And you just get on Amazon and put in Randy Grimes, Off Center and it pops up!
Margaret: fabulous,
Lydia: You can get it on Kindle, you know, or the paperback. And I just love for everyone to read it. Even if you’re not in addiction or have a loved one in addiction. I think it would help you understand what people go through. And it also tells you ways to get help or ways that families can help their loved one. It’s something for everyone.
Bumper: This podcast is made possible by listeners like you.
This podcast Embrace Family Recovery has been a joy to make! I have been introduced to some of the most interesting people which I feel have given such a variety of experiences around the disease of addiction.
I hope you’ve enjoyed them too. Please share the podcast with anyone you think it could benefit.
Spread the word, tell people about it, post about it, anything you can do to help get more people to hear the hope in the messages of people in recovery as family members.
Another thing that would be really helpful is if you could go to apple podcast and write a review!
The algorithms matter, reviews matter, ratings matter. So, if you can go on Apple Podcasts and rate and review what you’ve found valuable in the podcast, Embrace Family Recovery it would help this grow and reach more people.
Can you relate to what you’re hearing? Never miss a show by hitting the subscribe button. Now back the show.
Margaret 05:49
So, it sounds like it’s not only an opportunity to hear Randy and your story through the journey, which is helpful, and informative, and relatable for many people. But it also gives some nuggets of education.
Lydia 06:06
Yes, kinda, you know, walks us through the whole intervention with the family, the letters, the meeting the not before the where are you going to sit everything about an intervention, all their different personalities, how they play in what their letters say, and as taking that loved one to treatment. What that person goes through when they get there. What to expect, if it’s a good educational book, along with Randy’s story, you’re right.
Margaret 06:42
Fantastic. So, one of the final things I’d love to ask you, I picture the two of you at this point in your life, sitting on a little balcony in Florida. Reminiscing to the day you saw him in the wranglers as a freshman in college.
07:01
Could you have ever imagined this to have been your story?
Lydia 07:06
Never, never. Looking back I think man how did this happen, and God must have a sense of humor. I’m an elementary school teacher. I’m a mom, I’m a grandma, they call me honey. And I work with drug addicts. (laughter) So it’s like, you never dreamed that that’s where your life would take you, but it’s, it’s been good. I feel like I want it to be a testimony to the goodness of the Lord, and how he can carry you through.
Margaret 07:43
It’s evident in your story that the backbone of your family’s journey was your faith and your belief in the Lord. And that that sustained you at times where there was no other resources that seemed to make anything happen.
Lydia 07:59
Right he, you know, during all of this. I believe that God gives us visions. And he did, he revealed to me that he was going to restore my family, even in the darkest moment, when I didn’t think there’s any way we could stay married. It just kept coming to me. And it was just so real. And I knew that it was going to happen. And I’m grateful that he gave me that to hold on to. And I feel like that really got me through.
Margaret 08:35
I appreciate you so much in sharing your story. I imagine Randy shares it regularly. You must in the work you do with families. But I’m just so glad you agreed to speak your story. Well, I’m so grateful for the Randy’s and the people that share their story of their disease. I’m even more grateful for the Lydia’s and for the other moms, daughters, husbands, sons, parents who share their story. because I think of you back in the day, in that secrecy and isolation, if you could have had a podcast to listen to where you might hear someone say something, of I found this help at Celebrate Recovery or I found someone in Al-Anon or this treatment center offered a family program, you know?
Lydia 09:25
Oh, if I could have heard something like this, it would have been amazing. Okay, oh I know where to go now or I knew what to do, besides just talking to doctors.
Margaret 09:38
But a natural first step he has an illness, even though it might have been hard to understand that. Which I really also grateful you shared that the moral aspect of the disease plus the disease and how do you reconcile that? And the best way I know is this is a no-fault disease. That is like a train that runs over the addict and then starts running over everyone who loves the addict. And that the person in wellness will own the responsibility to clean up the wreckage of that train. But never own being a failure for having this disease. Like that is not their fault. But being responsible to clean up the wreckage is their responsibility. And that’s what Randy sounds like he does in his service work, his giving back, his repairing relationships.
Lydia 10:35
He has, he has, it’s been amazing to watch how far he’s come. And to see that our family we’re so blessed. We have four grandkids and wonderful children and like married, wonderful spouses and just to see that forgiveness that has taken place
Margaret 10:56
Healing, it’s wonderful. Any last thought you want to share with the audience, you don’t have to, you’ve shared a lot of wonderful things. Is there anything you feel like you haven’t said that you wanted to?
Lydia 11:06
Well,I just hope that in the middle of all of this, that if you know, your loved ones struggling? Yes, you need to take care of them. But you have to take care of yourself. Don’t lose yourself in the middle of all it, seek out help. There’s a lot of resources, just like the podcasts, what you’re doing is so wonderful.
Go to Al-Anon, go to a therapist, take care of you learn ways to help your addict, not just sit by and, try to get them to treatment is one thing. But you yourself have to recover. And there’s hope.
Margaret 11:48
There is. Your story is a testimony to the hope. Because in those darkest moments, I’m sure there was a wonder if he’d ever live, let alone be healthy again. For you and the children, because seizures, as you say are terrifying. And a lot of people don’t know with benzodiazepines, that’s a risk.
Lydia 12:12
Yes. It got to where, they take so much that their tolerance is so high, just a few hours or a day without it would causes seizure.
Margaret 12:22
Right?
Lydia: Yeah.
Margaret: There’s definitely a higher power that watched over your husband and your family that you leaned into to assist you in the journey. And many people struggle with that aspect of recovery feel they don’t have a connection, don’t know where to turn. And obviously for you that wasn’t a question. And I’m glad for you. And I’m also glad that you found Celebrate Recovery, which probably blends very beautifully to your faith and your religion mixed with the recovery. And I think it’s just really important for anyone listening to know that the paths to recovery are individual. The main thing is get on one.
Lydia 13:02
Yes. Everyone, the family needs to recover.
Margaret 13:09
Thank you. Thank you so much for being a guest on the podcast.
Lydia 13:13
Thank you so much for having me I appreciate it!
Outro: I really appreciated how Lydia took the time to share her story. Lydia and Randy Grimes clearly demonstrate addiction is an equal opportunity disease that can takedown anyone, even a center of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Lydia’s faith was her strongest resource throughout her journey but, boy was it tested.
I hope you choose to purchase their book entitled ‘Off Center ‘by Randy Grimes. No doubt it assists them in continuing to do their service work, helping people affected by the disease of addiction and their families.
Find Randy Grimes Book here: https://offcenterthebook.com
I want to thank my guest for their courage and vulnerability in sharing parts of their story. Please find resources on my website
embracefamilyrecovery.com
This is Margaret Swift Thompson.
Until next time. Please take care of you!
